Sunday, February 15, 2009
As you know, I try to refrain from using names here on my blog, in the interest of keeping my teenagers communicating with me. However, today I'm breaking that rule because I want to try to describe Martin deMaat.
My Uncle Martin was by far, the coolest man I have ever met. I mean that honestly. I know that "cool" is a cliche, everyone uses it, no one really means anything emphatic by it, but I do. He was cool. He was always "okay". He made you feel like everything was always going to be "okay". "It is what it is" is a phrase he used often. When you were stressed and upset he would sometimes tap you slowly and softly on the middle of your chest, just below your collarbone. It would help you to focus and relax, and on occasion I now find myself doing that, without even being aware of it.
If you asked anyone who knew Martin, they would tell you that they were certain they were Martin's best friend. He made everyone feel that they were important, that they were worthy.
For quite some time my uncle lived downstairs in a two-flat he shared with my mother in Chicago. Whenever I would take Oldestboy and Middleboy up for visits we would get to spend time with Martin, and it was always great. He was so much fun to be around, and had a laugh that would make people want to be in on the joke. (If you've ever heard me laugh out loud, you know, it's LOUD, and so was his.)
Martin had this way of talking and using his hands, it was so fascinating to watch. His hands were beautiful, and I'm so grateful that Oldestboy has hands that are looking just like Martin's, the older he gets.
Martin would take me shopping for clothes for Oldestboy, when I had no money of my own to spend; he would always put cash in my pocket when I would be heading home..."just in case"; he made me feel important, and pretty; he taught me about "thinking outside myself"; he made me laugh...and the day he left he made me cry.
It was 8 years ago today that we lost Martin; And a loss it continues to be. I have dreamt of him a few times, and he is always smiling and happy...and I know he wants us to be happy too. So I try hard, for his sake, to be happy, and remember that I will see him again. Until that day I will tell Littleboy and Babyboy all about their wonderful Uncle Martin, who loved everyone and was loved by everyone, too.
**Please scroll down and listen to Drops of Jupiter on my music player, this song reminds me of Martin whenever I hear it.**